The Other Maniac
by Wario the TableMan
Summary: Alternate ending to "Hall Monitor"


SpongeBob eyed his best friend with a stern display of heroism. "Patrick, are you ready to give up you're life of crime?" he asked.

"I wanna be good!" cried Patrick.

SpongeBob smiled and accepted the dull sea star's repentance. "Hmm… Now you just need a symbol of authority…" he mused, rubbing his chin.

Patrick had an idea, he picked up his discarded cone and placed it atop his head. He gestured to his quick-thinking with pride. SpongeBob let out a light chuckle in warm satisfaction.

Just then, chaos struck the city like a ton of bricks using jackhammers on teeth. SpongeBob growled gutturally as he sensed the reluctant tidings of peace whittle away to nothingness. "Holy sea cow…" he grumbled.

"What is it, buddie?" Patrick asked dopily, his brow dripping with sweat as the intensity of the situation amped up to atrocious levels of ridiculousness.

"This looks like a job for the Hall Monitor!" SpongeBob shouted as he tore off his own legs and rocketed up to the ocean skies with his jet engine glutes.

From high above, the yellow sponge saw the cause of all the madness and hysteria: Plankton.

SpongeBob zoomed over to Plankton and shot him with his laser vision.

"Why me!?" cried Plankton. He then pushed up his daisies and faded from existence like Obi-Wan Kenobi.

"He is dead, yet I still feel his unholy presence…" seethed SpongeBob with uncertainty and macho rage.

"I'm here, SpongeButt!" said a voice from behind. It was Plankton, but he was now a ghost and he had massive pectorals and abs that could cut diamonds.

"You utter fiend!" roared SpongeBob. He tore off his own shirt, revealing his deadly attractive six-pack.

Plankton laughed evilly and punched SpongeBob with a potted cactus. SpongeBob got the prickles stuck in his nose like stinkin' Mario Odyssey.

"Blimey, things have gone awry…" SpongeBob muttered as he dusted off his shoulders from his dandruff because he didn't use the right shampoo this morning and neither did you.

"Time for you to fall, SquarePants!" announced Plankton as he powered up his Gallick Gun. "You had your chance to give me the Krabby Patty Secret Formula! Now you shall be destroyed!"

"Plankton! You heartless beast!" screeched SpongeBob as he powered up to Sicko Mode and then charged up his Mo Bamba.

"Holy fish paste!" cried Patrick as he onlooked like a professional seeing person. "This whole jamboree is totes litty, homes!"

Plankton then darted his evil tongue out and stole all of SpongeBob's charisma and swallowed it. SpongeBob's abular display died and he wept bitterly for the sudden loss. "I am in a crucial period of my young spongey life…" he bawled.

Just then, Mr. Krabs appeared behind SpongeBob and signed his forehead with a black permanent marker. "Aye, lad, ye are a true warrior. Have faith, me boy…" said the midlife crustacean. The forehead now read… BENEVOLENT. Bluster Kong would be beyond proud.

SpongeBob licked his tears off with his third tongue and not with Plankton's. "Arigatou, Kurabusu-San!" he cried and then he stuck his nose into a cherry pie and pulled out a plum.

"What a swell day!" said Plankton dangerously as he exuded his green demon challenge. SpongeBob retaliated by BLJing to a parallel universe where he found the Grim Reaper.

"AY, where's Billy?" asked Grim.

SpongeBob bowed to the boss of deadness and took his scythe. He then flew back to Bikini Bottom after procuring a wing cap via cloning coins on BOB using a cork box.

SpongeBob watched for rolling rocks in less than 0.5x A presses and then swung the scythe of King Dedede's defeat. What a triumph is that?

Plankton got the scythe on his tongue and his tongue exploded into eleven separate pieces. "Oy without me tongue, I'm a bloody dingo!" cried Plankton.

"I told you that your life was not optimal," nagged Karen.

"Can it, computer wife!" roared Plankton and then he shot his teeth to inject poison into SpongeBob's bloodstream.

"Barnacles!" cried SpongeBob. He then baked the best doughnut ever and then stuck it on Patrick's head on the cone part. "Deputy! It's up to you now!" SpongeBob then fell defeated as the toxins overcame his system.

Patrick and Mr. Krabs hugged each other and cried for only twenty minutes.

"Why did SpongeBob have to go, Mr. Krabs?" Patrick wept.

Mr. Krabs sat on his piled of money and then retrieved his wallet from his secret compartment. "We are family, Patrick. Let us never forget the truth."

Patrick nodded and then shoved a carrot in each of his beautiful starfish ear canals. No one had ever seen such a glorious hunky hall monitor since 1908.

**THE END**


End file.
